How to find a good doctor?

In Seattle, I got very used to good doctors. And by "good", I mean a doctor who actually tries to heal you instead of convincing you that it's normal. And who actually listens. And who doesn't always prescribe antibiotics (you know, just in case, never hurts).


In short, I've always used a naturopath as health provider. And my kids did, too. And my wife. And you know what? They really work great! They usually listen and try to actually do something. And, of course, they being naturopaths, don't forget the fact that they'll try minimally invasive things first, and only move on if it doesn't help.


Well, anyway, that's not the point. The point is, the golden days are gone.
Turns out, naturopaths are not a part of health reality in Massachusetts.


It probably has to do with the fact that there are no limitations on calling oneself a naturopath. Even I can call myself a naturopath and get away with it. So, naturally, insurance companies don't want to cover somebody when there is no way to prove their worthiness.

There are some naturopaths, mind you. But they all are not covered, you have to pay out of pocket. And of those naturopaths, the majority are from - guess where? - the Bastyr University, the very one in Kirkland, WA.


And I really can't blame the Mass insurance companies. Once upon a time, we've managed to find some woman who labeled herself a "wholistic" doctor - roughly, that's the same thing, different name. She looked ok from reviews and over the phone, so we gave it a shot. As we were filling out the initial paperwork, she casually mentioned that, you know, I sometimes prescribe homeopathy treatments, and insurance wouldn't cover it, so I charge my fee of $80 the first time, but all subsequent times it's free. Ok, whatever. 


The office was, as the tradition goes, non-medically looking: soft chairs, a sofa, a carpet - you know, warm and homey. As I sat down comfortably in a soft chair and started describing the problem, she jumped on her stool: "Honey, don't do that please!" Turns out, my 1-year-old daughter went to explore the interesting-looking drawers full of some fascinating papers. The drawers weren't child-proofed. And neither were cabinets, table figurines, glass shelf - pretty much nothing. WTF?! You're working with kids, so make an effort to accommodate them. Too much to ask?


And guess what? She did end up prescribing a homeopathy treatment, which turned out to be a little bottle of small sugar balls, which she took out of a drawer full of identically looking bottles, without any labels on them. Does it count as that $80 fee you mentioned before? Yep, it does. Ok then, what is it exactly and what does it do? It's a homeopath treatment. Yes, I understand that, but what is it? What do you mean, "what is it?" It's a homeopathy treatment! It's the same thing you've been giving him, but it's specifically formulated for him. Wait a minute! How can it be specifically formulated? You just took it out of a drawer! Look: you go to a store, you get an off-the-shelf treatment; you go to a professional, you get a specifically formulated treatment. What the... Oh, never mind, we'll be leaving now, thank you for your time...

Garbage men

I confess: I used to think Seattle garbage men were rude and negligent. Turns out, I just needed to see Boston garbage men to better appreciate the Seattle ones. 


The guys seem to be having some kind of trash can throwing contest. Or maybe they're just assholes, I don't know. On the garbage day, trash cans fly in all directions, and mostly land good 20-30 feet away from where they were originally. On one occasion, I've seen a garbage man throw a can over a street-side-parked car. The can bounced off a fence on the other side of the sidewalk and hit the car. Fortunately, the car suffered no visible damage.

The most creative contestants also try to add some spice to the show by leaving some trash in the can before throwing it. The view of a flying can leaving a trash trace behind is nothing short of spectacular.

Pedestrian traffic lights: what's the point?

Pedestrian traffic lights in Boston don't work. They just don't. Yes, they do turn white from time to time, but it seems to be controlled by a random numbers generator of some kind. Or maybe it's a system with irritation-driven negative feedback. Just out of curiosity, I once spent a whole 30 minutes at the corner of Boylston and Mass Ave in hopes of getting a white light. I counted 10 full light cycles, but the pedestrian "white" was no part of any of them, despite me (and some other people) constantly pressing the button. On some other occasions, however, I did see it turn white. Go figure!

As a result, Bostonians just ignore the lights completely. The only people that I've seen patiently wait for a white light either looked like tourists or had little kids with them. And the police keeps up with the trend by completely ignoring jaywalkers. On one occasion, I watched a woman cross a street right in the middle between two crosswalks, as she stopped in the middle of the street for a nice chat with a policemen, who stood there for no apparent reason.

Ok, you want to be hit by cars, go ahead, your choice. But then, why spend your tax dollars on installing and powering the freaking lights in the first place?

Why do streets turn corners in Boston?

Ok, I'm driving down the Tremont street, don't turn anywhere, only go straight at every traffic light. But for some strange reason, the green signs on traffic lights along my way turn into "Columbus" eventually. What the #$%ck?! Ok, calm down, stop, look at the map. Aha! For some reason, several traffic lights ago, Tremont street decided to go right instead of straight, and now I'm driving on Columbus instead. Wow!

Turns out, this is very common in Boston and happens just about every other block. And some streets are actually not even continuous - they're sprinkled in short stretches all over the city. Like the Boylston street, for example. Or Washington. I've been here for only a few months, but I already know two places that can be called "corner of Boylston and Washington". Go figure!

I always thought it to be self-evident that the very point of naming streets is to be able to determine and communicate one's location. But such "creative" layout pretty much defeats the purpose.

Lead paint law

Turns out, there is a law in Massachusetts that allows a tenant who has kids of certain age to demand the landlord to de-lead (remove lead-based paint from walls) the apartment at landlord's expense. And the landlord must obey. And of course, the landlord cannot refuse to lease the apartment on that basis. So if you happen to have an apartment with lead on the walls, you're pretty much screwed: you'll have to de-lead it sooner or later. And that's a pretty expensive procedure. Well, at least that was the original intent of the law - to screw the landlord (Mass is a social state, you know).

But guess what? While it's illegal to refuse a prospective tenant just because they have kids, it's perfectly ok to refuse without any reason at all! So that's just what landlords do. When they see small kids, they just stop returning calls and answering e-mails. More emotionally strong ones try to come up with some bogus explanations. And one realtor actually told us (shhh! don't tell anybody, it's a secret!) that he cannot show us any non-de-leaded apartments, because he would lose his business with the apartment management company.


In some other states with similar problems (a lot of old buildings with lead in paint), like Vermont, for example, you can actually sign a waiver, stating that yes, you understand that there's lead in paint, and you agree not to demand it's removal. And that simplifies things a lot. But not in Massachusetts, no way! Your rights are being carefully guarded, even from your very self.

So despite the original intent, the law is actually screwing up the most socially fragile group - lower-middle-class parents with small kids. If you have small kids, you're pretty much limited to de-leaded apartments only. And they, just coincidentally, tend to be more expensive. It's just that nobody would de-lead an apartment just for the sake of it. People usually do it as part of a major renovation, and that adds to the rent quite a bit.

Great law, Massachusets! High five!