Here's how a typical morning of a backpacker looks.
You wake up about an hour before the rest of the team, get out of the tent, find your boots and start hitting them with the reverse side of an axe until they become soft and flexible again. Then you put them on, turn the axe around, and set off to find some firewood. Firewood grows in abundance around the camp, but you have to watch out for forest rangers, who have this silly affection for all living things, including trees, but excluding freezing backpackers. After you have enough firewood, you start a fire. And that usually comes just in time to save your fingers from freezing off. Once your fingers are ok, you take the can and go to find some water. If you're lucky, you go to a nearby spring or village well, otherwise you just melt some snow. And finally, when you have water and fire, you can start cooking.
(All that, of course, if you have the misfortune to be on duty on that particular day. Otherwise, you wake up comfortably with a fire ready, breakfast cooked, and your boots thawed for you)
Anyway, what was I getting at? Oh, right! Please don't take the below rant as "another fat, bald, middle-aged american who is unable to spend a day outside of his air-conditioned car or cushy couch". Yes, I'm fat and middle-aged (not bald, though - thanks to The Ultimate Hairdresser up there), but I'm more than able to pull off that trick. And I don't have a cushy couch.
Once upon a time, we have decided that city life is ok, but we want some nature. Ok, done: here's a reservation for a yurt at the Nickerson State Park in the middle of Cape Cod. Four beautiful lakes, serene forest, great place to rest. So why yurt, why not tent - would you ask? Oh, well, I have this little complication - two little kids. Either we're too lazy, or the kids are so special, but the tent doesn't work, no way. They need to sleep in bed, and in two separate ones.
But turned out, that's not the end of the story. Turned out, spoiled little bastards also need to sleep in warm beds. Who whould think?! Well, we would. We were seriously worried about it when we first set out to travel along the coast of Oregon and California (with only one kid at the time), but it turned out ok: every yurt/cabin/whatever they have on the West Coast has a heater inside. Of course, you're not allowed to bring your own heater (fire safety, you know), but the existing one works pretty good.
Well, not in Massachusetts. Why am I not surprised anymore? Must be a bad sign... In the great Nickerson State Park, there are no heaters in the yurts. And yes, you can bring your own one, but wait, you must be careful, because circuit breakers are for 15 amps, and there is no way to turn them back on in the middle of the night, because they're locked. And even if they weren't, what's the point anyway? What are you going to heat with a 15-amp heater? (still, could be better than nothing). And it turned out that this is actually not the worst it can get! Because in the equally great Otter River State Park (where we had another reservation, which we had to cancel) there are also no heaters, but you're also not allowed to bring your own. A warm welcome!
This little cold fact is especially amazing when you consider the climate difference: there's never snow in Oregon and California, while Massachusetts has full-blown Russian-style winters.
The construction of the yurt didn't help much either. You see, these yurts are pretty clever things. Basically, a yurt is a round wooden frame with tarp cover pulled around it. Kind of like a traveling circus, only smaller. And that round "tarp cover" is not just a piece of tarp. It has windows. The windows are fine mesh, so that you can see through them and the air flows freely. If you don't want the sun coming in, there are blinds that you can lower from the outside. But the air is still flowing. And if you don't want it to (because it's too cold, for example), there are also transparent film blinds from the inside that can be attached to the windows with velcro. Well, in good parks that is. Not in the great Nickerson State Park of Massachusetts. You see, in order to be able to attach the film to the cover, there must be an opening in the wooden frame that gives access to the window. And everywhere in Oregon and California where we were, there is. But not in the great Nickerson State Park of Massachusetts.
Anyway, somehow we managed to put the kids to sleep, wrapped in several layers of clothes, and then went to sleep ourselves. Not for long though - in the middle of the night, the nature took over and I had to step out for a minute. But the yurt's door was of a different opinion. The deadbolt that we've locked ourselves with wouldn't open. (a deadbolt is always a good idea: while I'm not overly sensitive about being eaten by a bear, I would probably be pissed off if the bear preferred one of my kids). A later investigation showed that while turning the knob clockwise caused the deadbolt to go out of the door, turning it counterclockwise did not result in full retraction of the damn thing. Surprise! After a very frustrating 30-minute struggle, I just had to kick the door open.
And in the morning... When you're in a forest, near a lake, far from civilization (well, as far as it gets in Massachusetts, anyway), what usually wakes you up in the morning? A bird chirp... A sun ray... A gentle breeze... And a concrete mixer, of course! Turns out, another yurt was being constructed at the site just next to ours, and this was just the day they were pouring concrete for foundation. And naturally, they started at 7am. Because nothing helps with hard work better than angry neighbors. I guess it's a good thing that the rangers managed to warn us about it in advance... Oh, wait a minute, they actually didn't! I guess it's a bad thing then...
As we were driving out of there in frustration, taking a last look at the park map, we've noticed the word "Playground". "Oh, good," - we thought naively, - "at least we'll let the kids run around for a bit."
Lo and behold! Here's the great Nickerson State Park Playground:
Oh, and the best part: Alcohol is strictly prohibited in all Massachusetts parks.
Happy camping!
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